The Sun's Shadow

Stumbling to find a light switch in the dark

Be honest, don’t suffer in silence

Last night my love and I went out for a late night bite at a local burger joint… it was an attempt to be spontaneousand just get out of the apartment for a little while. We happily head out of the apartment and walk over the burger joint, it a fun place not crowded only a few tables occupied in a narrow room. Now as we went out my Girlfriend mentioned not feeling well as a sudden feeling that kind of swept over her as we we stepped outside, we continued on to the restaurant as she thought it likely the feeling would pass.

      We arrive at the restaurant and apparently the feeling had not passed and in some degree got worse, we ordered drinks and food and all the time the ill feeling gets worse, but I am not really aware of it as my wonderful girl friend is being far too brave, she doesn’t feel well and is afraid to tell me because it will ruin the nite, or at least the meal… and a couple of truth may become apparent here one she wishes we did things of this nature more often as she desperately doesn’t want this to be a negative experience so much so she will to really suffer in silence. Here is where I need to explain something about me. I am not afraid to say I want to leave a place, don’t like the look of the bar good lets go, bad cab ride, not feeling, looks like rain whatever if I want to go I am pretty sure I will communicate this loudly and clearly. The priority for my girl friend was different she was trying to preserve to the good time fun, but what were we preserving? She didn’t feel well and the whole illusion came crashing down when now your food is here but your too sick to eat… this leave the awkward situation where I put all this together in my head and realize we should have turned around and gone home long ago… either I sit and eat my meal while she suffers or we just go home. Going home when not felling well is perfectly acceptable and in my view alot more acceptable then me eating a cheeseburger & fries while she would sit in silence and suffer.

    This is never what I want, I want to disagree, I want to converse, I want to be told when I am being irrational. I never want her to suffer in silence I want her to feel free to communicate what she needs of me and from me, trust me if I disagree I will say it, I fear I might be shouting her down I hope not. I think it is highly more likely she was self sacrificing for the illusion of the good night out. In the end it is was a good night out but not because of where dinner was or what we had but because we were able to talk about this and these are real conversations of a relationship. Help us to be candid honest and closer together.


May 26, 2008 - Posted by | Personal

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