Virgin or Fraud
Can a person restore their physical virginity? Yes, and its a medical procedure that is becoming more common in Europe as illustrated in the NY times article “In Europe, Debate Over Islam and Virginity”. The article talks about the religious pressure being faced by young Muslim women who have to balance the freedom in their lives with religious faith and traditions namely to be a virgin when you are married. There are some deeply troubling aspects of this situation.
But for the patient, a 23-year-old French student of Moroccan descent from Montpellier, the 30-minute procedure represented the key to a new life: the illusion of virginity.
Like an increasing number of Muslim women in Europe, she had a hymenoplasty, a restoration of her hymen, the vaginal membrane that normally breaks in the first act of intercourse.
“In my culture, not to be a virgin is to be dirt,” said the student, perched on a hospital bed as she awaited surgery on Thursday. “Right now, virginity is more important to me than life.”
No to be a virgin is to be dirt? Are you kidding me this is how you view yourself that you are dirt because you are not a virgin, or how your culture then views your worth as a person? In a culture that puts such a huge emphasis on a woman’s virginity I can see how this can be an issue. Recently a woman who was found not be a virgin had her marriage annulled the court ruled she had commited breach of contract by pretending to be a virgin and the marriage was entered in to under a false pretense. The pressure on the woman to not only be a virgin but also be able to prove she is a virgin is just staggering and of course men in the religious culture are not held to same standard. The craziness doesn’t end here also in the NY times article another woman talks about her husband being fine with her not being a virgin but his family will have issues?
A 26-year-old French woman of Moroccan descent said she lost her virginity four years ago when she fell in love with the man she now plans to marry. But she and her fiancé decided to share the cost of her $3,400 operation in Paris.
She said his conservative extended family in Morocco was requiring that a gynecologist — and family friend — there examine her for proof of virginity before the wedding.
“It doesn’t matter for my fiancé that I am not a virgin — but it would pose a huge problem for his family,” she said. “They know that you can pour blood on the sheets on the wedding night, so I have to have better proof.”
They will want have her submit to a gynecological exam?! This is amazing and completely foreign to my sensibilities. I cannot relate I was going to make some comment about if this was me and my family but its not really fair as I live what I would deem to be a more liberated culture, that could be subjective but this is certainly a societal pressure we no longer face. However I am still critical of this whole situation and now back to how I find all this nuts!
One Muslim born in Macedonia said she opted for the operation to avoid being punished by her father after an eight-year relationship with her boyfriend.
“I was afraid that my father would take me to a doctor and see whether I was still a virgin,” said the woman, 32, who owns a small business and lives on her own in Frankfurt. “He told me, ‘I will forgive everything but not if you have thrown dirt on my honor.’ I wasn’t afraid he would kill me, but I was sure he would have beaten me.”
HE WOULD HAVE BEATEN YOU? Check Please table 4… I am at a total loss here, I am no fan of religion especially when it gets you this backwards thinking where the pressure on a woman can have her beaten, ostracized, and humiliated… so these women are forced to live a life of fraud… They have to surgically restore their hymen, hope the job was done well enough that another gynecologist cannot tell that her virginity was artificially restored. This is all too crazy for me and this is where the reality of religion gets divorced from the reality of the modern world and again exposes how religion is extremely critical of women and denies them the freedom to live their lives, after all if your no longer a virgin you are worth dirt, great message Islam. This reminds me of the creepy christian fundamentalist and their purity balls with fathers and daughters. We need to get religion out of the bedroom… individually when some religious authority tells you what to do in the bedroom or any room that is not their room then you are free to tell them to go jump in a lake… you have my permission. We place the artificial burden solely on women and then hold them to an impossibly high standard.
It comes down to either your dirt or a fraud if you had sex before marriage. I say you can leave the archaic history of your religion in the past and live your life as a good person with out having to worry about these things your religious culture demands. You may even want to consider leaving that culture/religion. At least living in a free European society you have that choice difficult as it may be
No comments yet.